There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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