so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
