he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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