Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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