Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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