The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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