I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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