Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
