Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
