Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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