I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There's always time for handjobs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
