Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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