If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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