so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
