He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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