Cold hands, warm shart.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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