no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
