I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
