Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
