That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
