We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
