Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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