I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
