you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
