Welp...herpes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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