i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
