Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
