im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
