note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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