I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
