i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
