I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
