My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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