How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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