I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
