Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
