called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
