I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
