everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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