actually, I'm a sock model
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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