Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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