Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
