Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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