Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
