Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im holly from the hills drunk
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
