I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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