RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
