We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
