There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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