i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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